Ask Tiggy: The Bi *Trans* Connection

Jul 9, 2021 | 2014 Winter - The Bi *Trans* Connection, Ask Tiggy Upland

Dear Tiggy,

My local bi support groups are divided by gender. I’m bi and trans, and a bit uncomfortable with picking which one to attend. What would you do, Tiggy?

– Mack

Dear Mack,

As stoked as I am to hear that you have even one local bi support group, never mind more than one, it can be disappointing for some when queer groups break up by gender. On the one hand, dividing into sections based on certain pieces of our demographic profile can give muchneeded voice and validation to those to whom society accords lesser social status, rights, access and expectations. On the other hand, it could have the unintended effect of denying us that same intersectionality of our identities. I find that LGBT entities tend to split along these lines because their social opportunities (e.g., bars, clubs) are attractive to either men or women, not both.

If I were you, I’d attend the next male and female bi meetings and ask if others felt the same way. If a majority of people do, you can ask if you might re-divide the groups based only on time and place of meetings. If fewer than a majority in the current crews are into switching things up, then lead the way by starting your own all-inclusive assembly.

– Tiggy


Are you a bi lady in need of some good advice? Write to Tiggy Upland at This advice column is for entertainment purposes only. The columnist reserves the right to edit the letters for any reason. Find more Ask Tiggy on

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