By Denise Garrow-Pruitt
My life changed, completely and forever, the day I realized I had fallen in love with a woman. Up until that day I had been happily married to a man. I was overwhelmed with guilt. I searched for an answer to my inner turmoil. I looked for books, but none seem to fit my situation. I then turned to the Internet. I looked up “Massachusetts bisexual.” The search returned the Bisexual Resource Center. I called the number listed and spoke to a nice man who told me about a group they had for married people who were attracted to people of their same gender. The meeting was that very night. With lots of fear and nervousness, I attended the meeting and although everyone in the group was male, I really felt I understood and connected to them. We each talked about what we were going through. At the end of the meeting, one of the group members told me I might find additional support at the Women’s Center in Cambridge. As soon as I got home, I called and listened to their recording of group offerings. There were two that fit my needs: a “Coming Out Group” on Saturday mornings and a women’s “Bi Rap” group on Tuesday evenings. I attended both meetings and found amazing groups of women who gave me unconditional support.
The bisexual community was very supportive of me. I am still friends with that great group of people who helped me so long ago. I will be forever grateful to the bisexual community (especially the Bisexual Resource Center) who told me I was going to be all right. They were correct. I am more than all right. I am a proud bisexual and very happy to be part of this great community of bisexual people.
After getting my own life together, I wanted to give back to the bi community that had helped me. I started a women’s support group, “Married But Not Straight (MBNS)© ,” which meets monthly in Northborough, MA, a town west of Boston. I am happy to assist any woman who finds herself married to a man but attracted to a woman. This support network is confidential, free of charge, and helps women to safely come out of isolation. Anything that I can do to make the process easier, I will do. If you have questions about this group or want further information, please email MBNSmetrowest@gmail.com.
Dr. Denise Garrow-Pruitt is a college dean and professor. She believes that the only way to change thinking is through education and has contributed this story in the hope of educating and creating change.