By Dove
the college girl asked me
the shy college girl at the dutch reformed college
the shy soft-voiced girl at the dutch reformed college with the conduct policy
the dutch reformed college with the sexual conduct policy about one man and one woman
the loving and supportive sexual conduct policy about one man and one woman
the nervous blue-haired girl in the hallway of the loving and supportive dutch reformed college asked me
asked me the college professor
asked me the visiting professor from the nazarene university
asked me the visiting english professor from the conservative nazarene university
the nazarene university with the lifestyle covenant and Title IX exemption
the nazarene university with the covenant for righteous living as male and female
the righteous nazarene university with the disciplinary clause in the faculty policy manual
the untenured professor from the university with the disciplinary clause about sexual purity
the professor without tenure from the university with the dismissal-for-cause provision about righteous living
the college girl asked me about the book I had written
she asked me about the young adult novel I had written about the gay kid in church
she asked me about the gay kid in church story I had written and the scene I had read
the scene I had read at the dutch reformed college with the loving and supportive conduct policy
she asked me about the story and told me about the pastor
she told me about the pastor and her parents and the intervention in her living room
she told me about the intervention in her living room and the anger of her father
the anger and fear of her father at having a lesbian for a daughter
the anger and fear of her dutch reformed father at his daughter the not-yet college girl
she told me about the intervention and the word lesbian she put in the mouth of her father
the word she couldn’t say in the mouth of her father
she told me her story as the gay kid in church and there were words we couldn’t say
the college girl asked me the untenured professor about the unpublished novel no one knew I had written
she asked me about the novel and her question wasn’t about the novel
her question wasn’t even a question but I answered it anyway
I said yes sister I wrote it for us
Dove is a closeted bi woman currently teaching at a conservative Christian university, holding space and hope for the next generation of evangelicals.