Marriage Material

Jul 22, 2021 | 2010 Fall - Bi and Single

By Kitty Kavanaugh

I put my lips to hers and taste her
sweet and salty centre.
Only a moment’s pleasure, knowing I will
never trust a woman with my heart…

I used to think if my significant relationship ever dissolved for whatever reason, my next relationship would be with a woman. When I’m looking for a partner, I am usually looking for someone I want to spend the rest of my life with and, hopefully, one day marry. It may seem silly, but I know within the first week of dating a person if this is someone I could see myself spending the rest of my life with. I have spent most of my adult life thinking about what kind of relationship I would like to establish and what kind of person would best compliment my personality. And, until recently, I have never considered such a relationship with a woman. I say “person,” but when I honestly seek out a life partner, I’m looking for a man. I’m looking for those preconceived social norms; someone who is a provider, a protector, strong and disciplined. But can’t a woman be all these things too?

From women, I seek a type of companionship I cannot so easily establish with a man. I am a Leo with strong masculine energies, and I have the need and desire to put on my “man pants” and be a woman’s provider, her protector, guard her, discipline her, and give her strength in her character. It’s not that I don’t do any of these things for men, but I need to receive these things much more often than I give them. Though I can be that dominant masculine energy in a relationship, I would find it too exhausting to keep up the pretense, when in my heart of hearts I am a feminine submissive. When I consider my womanhood, perhaps Yeats said it best:

Be praised for woman that gives up all her mind,
A man may find in no man
a friendship of her kind
that covers all he has brought
as with her flesh and bone,
Nor quarrels with a thought
because it is not her own.”
~Yeats “On Woman”

Kitty is a student with a focus of Psychology and Creative Writing, living and studying on the East Coast.

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