how I find it

Jun 15, 2021 | 2021 Winter - Finding Sex/Finding Love, Poetry

By Nest Valorfixer

our bodies whisper
honest need.
I have too much
love to carry.
I was told I’d be ignored
for my shameless
fat body.
my belly only knows truth.
my thighs are blatant.

and Love knocks on my door
every day.
I swing the door open
and see she
brought a wild idea
fluttering with vibrancy.
I’m listening to the new song
she left on my doorstep.
I’m learning how to sing.

companions arrive and I choose
new lives.
I kiss the centers of their chests.
they call goddesses
I never knew existed
out from the forest of my being.

thank you to Love.
your surprise gifts
teach me
what I was born to learn—
how to pay attention,
touch another person,
bend the right amount,
listen without losing myself.

you are the best neighbor I ever had,
bringing all these kale leaves,
sprigs of parsley,
strangely shaped tomatoes,
eggs warm from the hen.

I’ll thank you right someday.

lightning from a storm cloud
strikes the mountain.
I’m so lucky
the four-leaf clovers
are shaping into my name.

Nest Valorfixer is a queer sexblogger, describing the indescribable since breakfast. Please find her at

Featured image: Self-portrait. Artist trading card 2.5 x 3.5. Acrylic paint on found-product packaging cardstock.

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