By Jamie Clark
When I came out to my extended family four years ago, I received some amazing and unexpected messages of love and support. One came from a woman I’ve never actually met. She is the wife of a cousin I don’t know very well, and we only keep up with each other through holiday cards. She sent me a simple, sweet, personalized card with a picture of a rainbow heart that gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes.
Another was a hand-written, heartfelt letter of love and acceptance from my uncle, who is a religious leader in a denomination known for its conservative views on homosexuality. He and my mom grew up in that faith, and my mom always talked about it as bigoted and closed-minded. While my uncle’s warmth and support surprised me, when I reflect on what I know of him, I realize that this loving gesture was completely in character. He has always been compassionate and inclusive, supporting his gay siblings and blessing the union of my aunts when they married in 2008. His letter touched me to the core, and I have felt a special bond with him ever since.
And then there was the cousin whom I’d been close to in childhood and who has always considered my dad a father figure. After I came out, she opened up to me, sharing that she “used to be bisexual” and had romantic relationships with both men and women in her youth. I never knew about this aspect of her history, only about one boyfriend and her current husband. It meant a lot that she chose to share her experiences with me, creating an intimate connection.
All these unexpected yet direct messages of support and love have helped me to keep my faith in humanity and to believe that I really am a valued and worthwhile person, exactly as I am.
Jamie Clark (she/her/hers) is an autistic, queer, bi+ Renaissance woman living in the U.S. She enjoys hiking with her dog, making music, and nurturing friendships over ThinkDivergent, Discord, Zoom, phone, and occasionally in-person.