To My First

Sep 1, 2023 | 2023 Fall - Bi+ Joy

By Kasma

An open letter to the first female crush I ever had as a bisexual woman. 

I still remember back in seventh grade when I met you again. We had known each other sometime back in first grade, but I don’t think you remembered. We got close and I started to feel about you as they would show in the movies what it felt like to be in love. Although I had already figured out my sexuality by that time, you are the first girl I ever loved. You were such an important part of my life: you led me to who I am right now. I know you won’t believe me, but I don’t have a shortage of reasons to love you.

I have admired you forever. You’re always, unforgivably, yourself, even though you don’t know who you are. Your thoughts, your ideas, your creativity, it’s you, it’s all you. I love you for your sense of humor because, God forbid, I fall for someone who isn’t funny. I can’t believe we went from first grade silly puns to knowing each other again, skipping to eighth grade and the dirty jokes. I hate the fact that I missed so much of you in between, maybe I would’ve figured myself out sooner if I hadn’t. You’re fluent not only in the way you talk but even in your silence. I love how you can’t even walk straight yet you can dance like a pro. You’re the incarnate of sunshine itself, my love, you’re a storm that cannot be contained.

You’re all the impossible in the world.

Kasma is a 14-year-old bisexual woman from Jaipur, Rajasthan in India. She loves writing and posts it on her Instagram account @kas_.writes.


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