Thanks to Catherine Zeta Jones

Jul 9, 2021 | 2013 Spring - What Happens Next? Part 1

By Angel Vail

Along the way there were several “clues” that I might be bisexual. I credit Catherine Zeta Jones with giving me some of them. I first saw her in a made-for-television mini-series I had to watch for class. I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, which was fine; women are allowed to find others attractive. I then saw her in other films, started to feel differently, and wondered why. In high school I had a serious boyfriend, and although there were still signs that I was attracted to women, I dismissed them. I figured I couldn’t be gay because I was very much in love with my boyfriend. If anything, I got nervous, thinking these feelings for women invalidated my love for my boyfriend.

I got to college, and someone suggested that a way to meet a diverse population was to go to our school’s LGBT group. (She was straight, but looking back, I wonder if she suspected.) I kept telling everyone I was going to meet new people, since the group was indeed very straight-inclusive. I went to the group and announced that I was straight probably three times in that first meeting. (“The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”) It’s funny looking back as to why I did that – I knew what bisexuality was by the time I went to that meeting. I think I just didn’t want to rule out any cute bi guys who might have been there. I met a girl at that meeting and asked her out a little while later. While she said no, I remember thinking how easy it felt. Like there was nothing wrong with it. It just felt right.

It’s been almost 15 years since that meeting. I’ve had gay friends along the way tell me that I am really gay, and I’ve had others try to figure it out. Fortunately, for the past several years, I have been surrounded by people who don’t feel a need to “figure me out.” I don’t even have to state my sexuality anymore (I’ve found I’m personally more comfortable with the word “queer”). I just say who I am attracted to, and my friends don’t flinch. Many of them feel comfortable enough to share with me that they may not be as close to the edges of the Kinsey scale as people think.

Angel lives in New York City and three years ago she finally got to see Catherine Zeta Jones live on Broadway.

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