Substance

Sep 1, 2021 | 2021 Fall - Bodies, Poetry

By Mycah Katz

First it was an injection
The nurse telling me she wanted to be part of my journey
But the suicidal thoughts were like an anvil I couldn’t stop
The gel
was gentler
sometimes my mind was calmer
But every moment of anxiety became hours of anguish

My body never wanted new hormones
I just thought that I was a problem to be fixed
An earthquake to stabilize
Little boys never wanting the tremors I gave them
While I twisted myself into a substance they could handle

I want to be seen
But I have to know that I can see myself
That I don’t need approval to exist as I am
I don’t need to be different to be special

I’m a person who has the privilege to evolve
To show up in whatever form I choose
For I am not grieving

I
AM
HERE

Mycah Katz is a non-binary therapist and soon-to-be PhD student in social work at the University of Ottawa. They write poetry and blog about love, gender, and identity.

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