October 5, 1999—on turning 56

Jun 24, 2021 | 2019 Fall - Growing Older, Poetry

Actual remarks made during my birthday celebration week:

By Lani Ka’ahumanu

“Oh, but you don’t look 56! I would have never guessed. Lucky you.”
As if looking 56 [whatever that means] is a negative.

“You’re so young, no one would ever have to know.”
As if people knowing I am 56 is not a positive.

“Don’t worry about it, I thought you were 40!”
As if I should be worried!

“Oh god, you can’t be 56, how depressing. Don’t you feel old? What are you going to do?”
As if there is something to do!

“Why do you tell people how old you are? Just stretch the truth a little, no one will know.”
As if lying is appropriate! As if people knowing is bad!

“Why are you so proud of being 56?”
As if I should be ashamed!

When people say, “OMG, you’re as old as my mom!” Responding “Perfect—is she single?” brings a loud shriek and laughter—fun.

Lani Ka’ahumanu’s business card lists ~ poet, author, educator, artist, bisexual historian, agitator ~ not much has changed in 40 years. Watch for her Bi+OLD Blog on www.lanikaahumanu.org, relaunching December, 2019.

Related Articles

Love Punch

By Jennie Harper I was 39 when I learned how to make a proper fist. “I know,” I protested as my date adjusted my hand. “The thumb goes on the outside.” But my father only passed down part of the protection. The thumb must also wrap around the middle bar of knuckles,...

read more

Imbalances

By Sara Collie I am 10 or 11, navigating some pre-teen cusp of selfhood when the question rises up, engulfs me, troubling that long sunstroked lunch outside the Cornish pub under the looming cliffs where I watch the waitress tuck her hair neatly behind her ears,...

read more