By Nyla Palm
When I was 16, I went on a camping trip with my best friend. Just as we were about to leave, I realized that I forgot my underwear. Luckily, I have the kind of mother that would deliver me a bunch of g-strings.
Shortly after the camping trip, my mother and I went to the Registry of Motor Vehicles to get my learner’s permit. While waiting on the wooden bench in a room reeking of urine, surrounded by many other miserable people, my mother bluntly spat out, “So, I found your vibrator.”
Stunned, I asked her to repeat herself. It turns out, I had forgotten about my super-secret vibrator hidden in my underwear drawer when I’d asked for her help. My face flushed as my mind raced to come up with some excuse as to why I had this dangerous device in my possession.
I ended up blaming the toy on that friend that no parent really likes in your teen years. I said my friend bought it as a joke and I had never used it. This satisfied my mother – even though she probably knew I was lying – and we restored our mother/daughter dynamic. I threw away the vibrator and tried to pretend I did not miss it.
During my freshman year in college, an RA from my dorm floor decided to throw a sex toy party. Being pretty inexperienced with sex, I was intrigued. I ordered my first big-girl sex toy . . . a rabbit vibrator. I was excited and terrified all at the same time. I tracked my sexy package diligently and picked up my delivery in the mailroom right after I received the email.
My college was a dry campus and the freshmen were under close watch so we had 24-hour security guards who checked our bags every time we entered the residence hall. An especially grumpy security officer was on duty when I came through with my vibrating package. He asked what was inside the package and I blushed. I stammered through some words and said that it was personal. He grew suspicious of my behavior and questioned me further. After much stressful defense of my privacy, I was let through.
I found the whole experience incredibly embarrassing, but it was all worth it. I had my rabbit and I was a happy frosh girl! Life was good until it came time to move home for winter break. My mother was coming and I panicked after my underwear drawer fiasco and threw my beautiful rabbit down the garbage shoot.
Nyla is a 24-year-old, newly-out bisexual woman, who is currently living in the Boston area. She is studying for her CPA exams and works in the finance field.