By Rhonda D’Vine
Hi, I am Bi.
Coming out is always a journey. I am very well aware of that, because I did it multiple times. And we all know, coming out is often enough a repeated thing anyways. A wise person once said (which also describes myself quite well): “I am pansexual, polyamorous, and non-binary. Which means I haven’t made a single decision in my whole life.”
Hi, I am Bi.
I always was. Actually, I only found out about it and it seriously puzzled me when I realized that other people are not. That they are subconsciously or even actively excluding a fair amount of humans from the idea of feeling close to them. I still have a hard time grasping the concept of choosing against so many human beings that are awesome, just because of some assumed bodily features?
Hi, I am Bi.
“So you only like men and women? What about trans people!!” Exactly! What about trans people? Because the thing is: Trans and cis women are women. Trans and cis men are men. But even if you are a transphobic bigot and consider it the other way round, they still are men and women, even in your own strangely wired mind. At least try to be consistent with your hatred.
Hi, I am Bi.
“But that excludes non-binary people! Haha, now I got ya!!” Hello, I still am non-binary myself, why would I exclude people like me from my potential dating pool? And haven’t you read the Bisexual Manifesto from 1990? “Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature; that we must have ‘two’ sides or that we MUST be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders.”
I repeat: This was written in 1990. Over three decades ago!!
Hi, I am Bi.
And still people ask, “Oh, so you are a Lesbian now?” when I date a woman. I wonder if I should return the question with, “Oh, so you are aromantic now?” when they are single? Stop erasing people’s sexuality based on who they date or when they don’t. It doesn’t work like that and even monosexual people should understand that by now.
Hi, I am Bi.
And I’m tired. Of all these discussions over and over again. But I know they are important and needed. And repeated. Since way too long. Only once in a while I want to say:
Bi the way, I am Hi… I mean, I am Bi
I receive a happy smile, not have to explain it, get it questioned, and just be able to turn around, and walk away.
Rhonda D’Vine is a longstanding activist in various queer circles. She was a founding member of visiBi*lity Austria, is on the board of the non-binary organization Venib, gives speeches at demonstrations, does panel discussions, and also uses Poetry Slam as a tool of activism.