By Lisa Plover
First of all, points to you for not denying the truth that bisexuality is real, and that there is nothing homophobic about identifying as bisexual, since it is not homophobic simply to acknowledge not being gay; after all, no one calls straight people homophobic simply for saying they are straight. But then, I must remove all your points for all the ridiculous and untrue things you said after that.
What things? I’m so glad you asked! First of all, that bisexual people are just trying to be more accepted by society by claiming to be bisexual, when at least some of them and possibly all of them are really gay. In fact, as I can personally verify, being openly bisexual is no more acceptable than being openly gay.
Then you said that bisexuality was a phase and that bisexuals are indecisive, confused, insecure, and experimenting. Well, you know what? Every sexual orientation is a phase to someone. There are people who thought they were straight and then realized they were gay—that obviously doesn’t mean being straight is always just a phase and nobody can be permanently straight. I can tell you I know plenty of bisexuals (including myself) who are in no way confused, insecure, indecisive, or experimenting.
Then you said bisexuals are promiscuous. Well, you know what? Some of us are, and that’s okay! There’s nothing wrong with being promiscuous, as long as you practice safe sex and don’t lie about being monogamous. That said, being bisexual doesn’t make someone promiscuous; it’s entirely possible to be bisexual and not be promiscuous, and to be straight or gay and to be promiscuous. And the idea that bisexuals cannot be trusted not to cheat is no more reasonable than the idea that a lesbian who is attracted to women other than her partner cannot be trusted not to cheat. Being attracted to both women and men (or various genders) does not mean needing sex/relationship with both to be happy any more than being attracted to both tall and short women does.
Then you said that bisexuality was a backlash to lesbian feminism, which is ridiculous. No one would identify as bisexual (thus causing men to hit on them) if they were really a lesbian. There are better ways to oppose lesbian feminism, like by writing criticisms of it. As for the idea that bisexuals will inevitably end up in heterosexual relationships, that is not true and even if it were true, there is nothing wrong with ending up in a heterosexual relationship, nor does it make somebody not queer (lots of gay people have ended up in straight relationships for the sake of acceptance by society).
Then you said that bisexual women are reinforcing patriarchy, that bisexuality is not a political identity, and that bisexual women carry HIV to lesbian communities. Well, what’s really reinforcing patriarchy is saying that a woman can’t possibly know what she wants sexually and has to be told and controlled by others. As for bisexuality not being a political identity, no sexual orientation should be—people should just identify as what their sexual orientation actually is, not try to fit themselves into a box in order to make a political point. Or if you mean lesbians and gays can come together to fight for queer political rights, so can bisexuals; we also need the right to, for example, not be fired for our sexual orientation. As for the idea that bisexuals carry HIV into lesbian communities, that is the fault of people not practicing safe sex, not of people being bisexual. Telling people to stop having sex with both women and men (which not all bisexuals even do) to avoid the spread of HIV is not any better than telling gay men to stop having sex with men to avoid the spread of HIV (as gay male sex is more likely to spread it than straight sex.)
Bisexuality is not, as you claim, anti-feminist. It is not feminist to oppress a woman’s sexuality. As for your idea that bisexuality is a form of false consciousness, false consciousness is about people being manipulated to believe something untrue, and what powerful forces in society are pressuring women to believe they are bisexual? Clearly between conservative heteronormative society and biphobic feminists and lesbians, there is more than enough pressure to not be bisexual to counteract any small pressure women may receive to be so.
As for your idea that bisexual women who pursue relationships with men are deluded, that is just another way of saying false consciousness, and as for your idea that those women are desperate, bisexuality actually lowers a woman’s chance of finding a relationship and sex due to biphobes like you, as is well known, so no one desperate for a relationship or sex would choose it.
You note that lesbian feminist Sheila Jeffreys writes in The Lesbian Heresy (1993) that while many feminists are comfortable working alongside gay men, they are uncomfortable interacting with bisexual men, due to the possibility of sexual harassment. But sexual harassment is often an expression of desire for dominance, not sexual attraction, and can therefore be perpetrated by anyone of any sexual orientation.
You note that Donna Haraway’s 1985 essay “A Cyborg Manifesto: Science, Technology, and Socialist-Feminism in the Late Twentieth Century” states that the cyborg “has no truck with bisexuality, pre-oedipal symbiosis, unalienated labor, or other seductions to organic wholeness through a final appropriation of all powers of the parts into a higher unity.” But bisexuality is not a seduction to organic wholeness through a final appropriation of all powers of the parts into a higher unity, but rather a sexual orientation some people simply have and are not trying to have for some other reason, and therefore should not be considered against impossible for cyborgs or against the cyberfeminism inspired in large part by her essay.
For all these reasons, and most of all because bisexuality does no harm to the project of women achieving equal rights (the support of which is the definition of feminism), whereas denying bisexual women the right to define themselves as bisexual and pursue their bisexuality does, all feminists and feminism should accept bisexuality.
Lisa Plover is a bisexual woman living on the East Coast of the U.S.