Coming Out to Grammy

May 1, 2011 | 2011 Spring - People Say the Strangest Things, Articles

By Ellyn Ruthstrom

My grandmother was an avid stamp collector and she attempted to pass her passion for the hobby along to each of her six grandchildren. I was the only one who actually stuck with it, and so would look forward to our occasional stamp marathons when we would pull out the albums and glue the newly-acquired treasures into the huge books. Doing this always put Grammy into a good mood, so I took one of those moments to come out to her.

When I was first coming out to people, my strategy was to compliment the person in some way and tell them that I felt lucky they were the type of person I knew would be supportive. I also would say that it was important for me to be open about my life with them because I didn’t want our relationship to be based on secrecy and lies. That usually set it up pretty well.

When I told Grammy that I was bisexual she was actually surprised. Since I had dated men since college and had married in my 20s, she figured that was the way things were. I thought the fact that I had the same female roommate when I moved from Massachusetts to Ohio to do my master’s might have been a clue, but seeing that Robin was originally from Ohio it made sense to her that she was moving back there with me. Plus, I had moved back to Massachusetts without Robin so that was the end of it.

After taking it in and asking a few questions, she just chuckled and said, “To each their own poison.” And that was about it. I introduced her to my next girlfriend and she was always respectful of our relationship and enjoyed the time we’d spend together.

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