By Gia Choquette
I wonder when the ice began to melt
Thawing me into the truth
Was it when her leg brushed against mine?
When a thousand fantasies fluttered through my mind?
When my ex came out to me as a trans woman and I wanted to stay?
Or the way the word “bi” always drew me in;
like the tide, like a whisper,
like it was calling me home?
I remember the way my non-binary ex threw gender to the wind
and how free I felt
to not have to fill any gender role
when we were together;
To just
Be
Me
And how their bisexuality helped to mirror mine back to me
so I could see
The pink, purple, and blue hues of brilliant possibility
Reflected in my eyes
And maybe it was the husky voice and
flannel shirts of the first girl I knew for sure I had a crush on
Or the way I cared so passionately about LGBTQ+ rights,
Always forming friendships with people who were queer
and who felt like familiar soulmates from a distant land
At some point amidst it all, these echoes of the truth
Settled around me like rain puddles
As I stood there beneath my bi umbrella
That had been there, over my head
All along.
Gia Coquette is a graduate student living in central Massachusetts in the U.S. with her boyfriend and their cat, Nyx.