By Riley Quinn
My connection to our community began in early 2019. My partner of 17 years died by suicide in August of 2018 and I was lost. Utterly and completely lost. Falling into an abyss. I was told at work that I was grieving too much; I must return to the bright, engaging person they hired. I was cut off from the queer community as I’d stopped going out. Stopped socializing. Every movement, every thought, every action felt like being nicked by thousands of tiny sharp blades. I was in a bad way.
And then, after Christmas (which was torture), I typed in “bisexual groups Australia” and up popped the Melbourne Bisexual Network and a phone number. So I left a message and a wonderful man named Anthony called me back. He contacted a bi+ network leader in Sydney to give me a call. Amber called me, and here I am six years later, the vice president of the Sydney Bi+ Network.
Community has many meanings. It can be just knowing others like you are out there. It can be meetings and chats. It can be advocacy for the community and education for those outside the community. It can also just be a cup of tea with a lovely group of people, talking about life and TV and books and care. The type of care that isn’t outspoken or loud but the care of being in the company of people like you, without ever having to explain who you are. Accepted and the norm. Warm and fun and relaxed and easy. Isn’t that what we all want? Warmth and ease.
As a leader in the community it can be hard work catching all of the threads of activity, opinion, wants, needs, and work. It takes time, consideration, self-awareness and self care, and, most definitely, the genuine empathetic care for other bi+ people, locally and in the greater world. It’s a lot at times, but I wouldn’t walk away. This is my community. In the majority, bi+ communities are supportive and caring. Understanding and easy. There are some parts that look like community but are not and that’s because the world in its current evolution is all about platforms and podcasts and sparkly shiny things. These elements are fine but they aren’t all there is.
Community is broad. It has many voices and many parts. The bi+ community is as diverse as we are as humans, and I love our cuppas and chats.
Riley Quinn, 55, multi-gender-attracted, non-binary human. Steadfast advocate for human rights, the rights of our trans, gender fluid, non-binary, and bi+ communities, locally and globally. Working on a couple of books, poetry, and art work about life as a DV and coercive control survivor, living with DID and complex grief, and finding equilibrium, balance, and ease. Former co-chair for several LGBTQIA+ networks and searching for the right next senior role in kinder industries.