By Topanga Turk
During these times of solitude and isolation, it’s been difficult to stay true to my bisexual self. Without the connections of living in a majorly queer city like San Francisco, going to events and having the whole dating world at my fingertips with apps, it’s been hard to remember and sit in my queer identity, while sitting at my parents’ house, in the suburbs of Philadelphia, during quarantine.
What has been getting me through physical distancing has been the thriving online community my Skirt team has ramped up in the last two months. Skirt Club is an international women’s-only community, which invites bi-curious, bisexual (and more) femme women to enjoy each other’s company in a safe space to explore their sexuality. Before COVID-19, we held monthly events around the world for women to meet and get to know each other mentally, and physically. Since all our physical events are canceled and I’m no longer traveling to SF, LA or NYC to support the team in running events, my Community Manager colleagues have pivoted—like so many others—to an online space.
Each Wednesday at 8 P.M., we hold Zoom “In Chastity” Chats. These online talks center around our blog posts and can be about anything from what you’re using to masturbate to your first time with a woman. During the chats, I hear stories from fellow members that can be vastly different from or completely alike my own journey or circumstance at the moment.
What I have been taking such pride in from hosting the USA online events is the sense of togetherness the members and myself get out of it. These two hours every Wednesday, I find my bisexuality again. I see my Skirt Sisters dressed in lingerie, sipping a drink and sharing their stories openly. I see my bisexuality in them. Being able to save this sacred space for vastly different women reminds me that I am a part of a whole. My voice and stories support other women along their bisexual journey to their own queerness.
The message that resonates with me and that I constantly tell our members is this: your bisexuality is YOUR journey. How you show up and share in this space is YOUR choice. Even when you are physically distancing, whom you choose to spend your virtual time with is YOURS. For me using my time in a way that fulfills me and connects with my chosen bisexual community has been my way to continue connecting to own my queerness through quarantine.
Topanga Turk is the U.S. Community Director for Skirt Club, and a former elementary teacher and teacher coach working to help others bask in the glow of their sexuality